Football Gets Its Own 'God Squad'

The Vatican is has bought majority share in Italian football club Ancona which they want to turn into a 'moral' club, free from racism, hooliganism, swearing drugs drinking etc.. They will have a code of conduct for players and fans to follow.

So will we see some amendments to the 'Ten Commandments' revised for football?

• Thy shalt not foul thine opposition.
• Thy shalt not chant 'Who's the Wanker in the Black' when addressing the referee.
• Thy shalt not fall for the offside trap.
• Thy shalt not take a dive in the penalty box.
• Thy shalt not argue with the refs decisions.
• Thy shalt not pretend like nothing has happened when thy foul another player behind the refs back.
• Thy shalt do penance Opus Dei style if thy receive the red card.
• Thy shalt not roll over in fake agony if another player just brushes past thou when thoust have the ball.
• Thy shalt not marry a spice girl.
• Thy shalt not play like pussies after going one nill up straight after kick-off thinking you can defend the lead for 90 minutes.

(Actually the last one applies only to the English football team.)

I wonder if Maradonna's 'Hand Of God' will be used by the new team? - That would be a bit unfair.

If the Church is worried about declining moral standards why don't they do something about the totally immoral practice of preaching against birth control and abortion in third world countries racked with diseases such as AIDS, where millions of women die each year.